Parenting For Humanity Blog

Living with a gifted child calls for unique skills. From the unusual perspective to unexpected frustrations, unusually bright children offer up a range of parenting challenges. On January 21 we talk with Judy Fort Brenneman, editor and contributor for the book: High IQ Kids: Collected Insights, Information, and Personal Stories from the Experts’.

High IQ Kids is a collection of insights, tips for advocacy, inspiration and personal stories from experts on gifted children- including parents who have been there, done that. Issues such as testing, homeschooling, behavior and social skills are seen as they relate to highly intelligent kids.

You can find this show at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/parenting/2009/01/21/High-IQ-Kids .

We’re kicking off our fall guest speaker schedule with the author of a new book that both Amy and I really resonate with – “When The Labels Don’t Fit:  A New Approach to Raising a Challenging Child.”  We’ll be speaking with the author, Barbara Probst, on Thursday, September 18th at noon EST.  We highly encourage you to tune in!

Many children do things that seem odd or excessive at various points in their development. Though some do need professional help, many are victims of a culture that’s far too quick to attach a label such as ADHD, social anxiety, or bipolar disorder to every child who’s hard to manage or doesn’t fit in.  Barbara Probst asks: Is there really something wrong with all these children, or is there something wrong with the way they’re viewed, categorized, and treated? WHEN THE LABELS DON’T FIT proposes a radical new perspective: instead of viewing unusual or puzzling behavior as a symptom of disorder, we need to view it as exactly what it is: the extreme or out-of-context expression of a trait like perfectionism, intensity, or curiosity.

Please leave any questions you have for Ms. Probst here on the blog, and we’ll see what we can do to incorporate them into the show!

Vacationing with children changes the whole dynamic of travel. How many parents return from spring break declaring, “I need a vacation!”? Let’s talk about ways to make your vacation restorative for the whole family.

This week we’re sharing our favorite travel hints- from long car rides to navigating airports while keeping track of your kids- we’re going to discuss sanity savers for parents and children.

After the show, keep your eyes here, and we’ll post links and tips shared by our community of listeners. Prior to the show, feel free to help us prepare by sharing your favorite travel hints and links.

Talk to you Friday!

This Friday, we are having a community discussion on cleaning-up strategies to use with our children.

How does cleaning up happen in your household? Do you believe that children should have assigned chores, does everyone clean together, or do you believe that by modeling a clean house, children will come to value order and keep it that way on their own?

What rules do you have around keeping the house clean? What strategies do you have to get children to help?

What are your biggest struggles around this issue?

If you would like to hear that you are not alone, and would like some new, creative strategies around cleaning up your home, please comment here and be sure to join us Friday, June 6th, at 10am MST, for our community discussion. To listen by phone or comment, please call (646) 716-8259. To listen on the internet (or to set a reminder in advance), go to this episode on BlogTalkRadio.

Talk to you soon!

Lisa and Amy

Empathy means “being sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another”. Empathy connects you with your child’s current feelings and needs (and perhaps your own).

Empathy sometimes seems as if it would be counter-intuitive, fruitless, and time-consuming It might seem that conveying your understanding implies you will give in or fix that feeling, yet often just being understood is what is needed by the child. But it often has exactly the opposite result.

Empathy helps your child feel understood, supported, and connected instead of controlled and told his feelings are wrong. You have to first understand what he wants, what he feels, and what he needs (what he wants and needs may not be the same thing). This is not implying that he can have what he wants, or even that you will be able to meet his need at this moment. It is acknowledging that his needs and emotions are valid and that you will support his right to have them.

Sometimes, it is very hard to offer empathy to a child when we have strong feelings we are struggling with ourselves. In this case, take some deep breaths, and offer yourself some empathy with your inner voice. “It’s not easy to be a parent of a spirited 2 year old. I’m really frustrated. I’m angry that I didn’t get to eat lunch on time. I really need food and some quiet time to just sit down.” By doing this, you acknowledge that it is valid for you to have these feelings, and that your feelings and needs matter also – even if you realize logically that you can’t meet those needs right now, for example if you are in the middle of shopping and won’t be home for half an hour. Even more importantly, you “take ownership” for your emotions when you empathize with yourself without blaming either yourself or anyone else.

Listen in on May 29, 08 for a discussion of how empathy can help our children feel more understood and accepted for who they are as well as how it can help solve behavior issues, and how it can do the same for us. To listen live, or ask questions, call (646) 716-8259 at noon EST.

Lisa

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