Family Meeting Challenge: Listening
You’ve scheduled your family meeting, and perhaps some other blogger has put together a handy agenda template for you, and you’re ready to go.
To keep the family meeting running smoothly, there are a few jobs. Someone to record what happens so you can review it later and know which items need to be revisited during future meetings is helpful. For the running of the meeting, we’ve landed on the job title, “listener,” rather than chairperson or leader. The Listener is in charge of the agenda- reads off the items and requests more information, then summarizes the issue.
The Listener doesn’t need to worry about logistics or whether or not an issue is valid- simply reflecting back what is being said until everyone is clear on the agenda item.
We’ll be talking about Listeners as well as agenda items, common obstacles to successful family meetings and getting ideas on keeping the family meeting momentum going during our show this week. Join us with your questions and family meeting stories!
(A special thanks to Amy’s family who graciously allowed me to intrude with the video camera during our family meeting this week)
Linda:
Hi Amy and Lisa,
I love your show and find it an enjoyable mix of intelligence, kindness, and humour.
I’m wondering if you have any thoughts that you could share in the show on something like a “family contract”.
In a quick Google, most links relate to rules about behaviour (e.g. no hitting, no name-calling). I’m more interested in having a set of philosophies that a family agrees represents them and guides their lifestyle (e.g. vegetarianism, Christianity, minimalism, parenting style, community obligations, treatment of others, etc.) and why they have chosen/believe in them. My husband and I have long discussions at times, but I think we’d both benefit from having our conclusions formally recorded so that we could refer to them in times of doubt or conflict (and of course change them as a family when we change).
By the way, my children are 4, 2, and 1, so I’m hoping to gently start a habit of family meetings soon, but their involvement in our family contract will be minimal at this point.
Many thanks,
7 October 2010, 9:01 am- Linda, mum of three
- Dunedin, New Zealand
Archie and Rebecca:
Hi, nice to find you on the Web Amy and Lisa —
we have listened to some of your podcasts and they seem to be quite helpful for parents with a variety of questions on parenting. We’re looking for something related to working or parenting postively a child — our nephew actually– who is, or appears to be, just so fully charged with energy, not of the positive type, rather the rebellious and confrontational type to his parents, even at the age of 6.5, his parents are certainly looking for good advice.
The boy’s teachers made comments about his lack of social skills. He seems mostly challenging to his parents, not as much when around uncles, aunts, during holidays and birthday parties. We care so much about our little newphew but we’re not in a ‘easy’ position to speak to our dear relatives on how to help or anything, as we don’t they would accept advice easily, even if well-intended.
What books or advice can you recommend at this time? I know we’ve only provided a small glimpse of the story, however, if something comes sort of naturally to your minds as tips or suggestions would be very much appreciated.
Again keep doing what you’re doing with your podcasts as well your web services, and wishing you a most prosperous and healthy 2011 !
3 January 2011, 12:38 amArchie and Rebecca