Parenting For Humanity Blog

You’ve heard us rave about his books…recommend his techniques…and perhaps have participated in our workshops based on his work.  Lawrence Cohen, author of the popular book Playful Parenting, and co-author of Mom, They’re Teasing Me, is going to be joining us live on November 12th!

For more info, check out his website: http://www.playfulparenting.com/

This is your chance to get your questions in early!   Then, join us on November 12th, 9am PST, 12pm EST for an open discussion with Dr. Cohen at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/parenting/2008/11/12/Larry-Cohen-Live or call into the show live at  (646) 716-8259 .

Our Oct 22nd, 2008 show focuses on moms taking care of themselves, and how their partners and friends can help facilitate this process.

Many women grow up taking care of others needs ahead of their own.  Often we don’t even go to the bathroom until everyone else has what they need, not to mention taking a shower or getting exercise.

And yet, our children do need us.  If you listen to the show, you know we probably aren’t going to advocate dropping everyone else’s needs and running off to the spa.

So where is the middle ground?  How can we be creative so we as mothers don’t fall cracks?  How can we help each other and ask for help?

This is one of those shows where we need your ideas.  Please add your comments and share your creativity, and tune in October 22nd, 10 MST / noon EST, with any additional thoughts you have.

A quick online search for discipline tips for children reveals fairly standard results- be consistent, use natural and/or logical consequences alongside rewards to increase good behaviors and communicate limits in a clear and developmentally appropriate manner.

Shift to googling about “challenging” kids and most of the advice is the same as above, only with added emphasis. The message is clear- if your child is challenging, you need to be more consistent, more clear, perhaps adding more limits and more rewards.

There are several flawed assumption inherent in most of this advice. One such assumption is that if a child is explosive, having a hard time coping, that his parents aren’t working hard enough- perhaps they are inconsistent, confused or just plain lazy. Help the parents be more clear in their consequences and the child’s behavior will improve.

Another flawed assumption is that if something isn’t working, (rewards, consequences, increased limits) adding more of the same will help the situation. If rewards aren’t working, perhaps they need to be more accessible, more immediate, or more enticing. The consequences might be more effective if they were swifter, more consistent, perhaps even harsher.

The missing piece of all these discipline systems is skill. None of them assess whether or not the children actually have the skills they need to meet the expectations set before them. None of these reward charts actually teach problem-solving skills or communication, so while they are possibly helpful in the short-term, they are woefully lacking in the long term.

Ross Greene has been making these points in his books for a while now. Explosive Child opens the door to teaching chronically frustrated kids problem-solving skills, and introduces the essential underpinning of Collaborative Problem Solving, the premise that children do well if they can.

Join us this week, October 15 as we introduce some of the ideas from The Explosive Child and lay the groundwork for our visit with Ross Greene about his newest book, Lost at School, coming up on October 29!

On October 29th, Ross Greene, Ph.D. (author of the Explosive Child,) is going to talk about his new book, “Lost at School”, on our internet radio show!  We are very excited….So in preparation we are going to do both a show and a free interactive workshop on some of the basics.  Here’s the schedule.

Oct 15th – 10aMST/12pEST “Ross Greene’s ‘Children do well if they can’” internet radio show and podcast (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/parenting for live or download, or subscribe in iTunes)

Oct 24th – 12pMST/2pEST – Free experiential telenet workshop, “Ross Greene’s Children Do Well If They Can” – signup required, space limited.  We’ll explore concepts in more depth and collect your questions for Dr. Greene! Email parentingforhumanity@gmail.com to reserve a spot.

Oct 29th – 10aMST/12pEST “Lost at School” interview with Dr. Ross Greene.  Go to http://www.blogtalkradio.com/parenting now and have it send you a reminder before the show, or listen afterwards.

Here’s the book at Amazon if you want to get it before the show.

In case you didn’t hear it on the show for the last couple of weeks, we are officially switching to Wednesdays for the fall.  The time will remain the same:  every Wednesday at 12 pm EST, 10 am MST.  For a list of upcoming shows, visit http://blogtalkradio.com/parenting .

We hope you’ll join us!

Lisa and Amy