Empathic Parenting Blog

Welcome to the Empathic Parenting blog!! I hope you will find this to be thought-provoking and inspiring, even if I do ramble often! Many of you have been asking me to elaborate on various ideas, and I’ve just not had time to do the work of putting my thoughts into a polished article. Therefore, this blog will be an informal space for thoughts that may not always make sense, be complete, or even be something I myself agree with sometime down the road

I will occasionally answer questions in my blog, if I’m so inspired. If you would like to submit a question, please email it to me privately so that the answer is anonymous, with a subject line that indicates you are talking about the blog. (If you don’t mind me using your first name, please say so). I will pick and choose questions that I feel I add the most value, and I make no guarantees to answer any particular questions!

Welcome again!!

Lisa Stroyan

I resigned yesterday.

After a therapy appointment, I told my son (almost 9) that I had talked with my therapist about the fact that for some reason I’ve taken it to be my job to be responsible for the needs, happiness, and stuff of everyone in the family and it was making me tired and sick. He said, “Well, why do you think that? That’s silly.” I agreed. So I said, I am hereby resigning as The One Who is Responsible For Everyone - them being happy, all of their stuff, etc. He said, “you mean retiring.” I said, yes, that is exactly what I mean. I’d help, but everyone gets to be responsible for their own stuff and I’m not to blame if it falls through the cracks.

I haven’t told my husband yet I may just let him figure it out. But so far it’s going pretty well with my son. When he was helping with breakfast and asked why he had to help, I said, because I’m not responsible anymore - I’m helping you get your breakfast, you aren’t helping me. He decided to make up some juice. When he asked why he had to clean up the juice he spilled (of course he always cleans it up, but to him it feels like he’s doing me a favor) I said “because I’m retired, remember?” Oh yeah. He freaked out when he thought he wouldn’t be able to have things like scrambled eggs because he can’t do them by himself - I reminded him that I would of course help! THAT is my job. But overall, he was pretty enthusiastic about doing it and making his own decisions.

So, anyone want to join the revolution?

Lisa Stroyan - www.empathic-parenting.com
“Never do to yourself what you would never do to your child.” ­ Martha Beck