Angels
I had to let some angels go today. It was hard to see them go.
About 3 months ago,my son made a beautiful safety-pin beaded angel for our tree, and decided he wanted to make many of them - 18 more, once he counted, recounted, and adjusted all the people he would give them to for Christmas.
Of course, the store didn’t have 18 angel kits, and cost would have been too high anyway. On the other hand, they would need to be exactly the same or it wouldn’t be “proper” in his eyes. I carefully went around to different hobby stores and found almost all of the parts - proud of myself for using coupons and only spending $30-40 when it could have been much more (and not noticing the almost-manic way I was wasting time on them). In typical fashion, by the time I had all the materials ready, and had modified the pattern to account for the missing pieces, he had lost interest in something he was starting to believe was no longer his project, anyway.
For the last couple weeks, as I have increasingly reminded (well, bugged) him to make the angels and he has been similarly increasing in his unwillingness to work on them, thoughts of following through with one’s plans, using the materials one has bought, etc have danced in my head, taunting me. It seems this is a skill I must teach my son. Not, of course, that I have learned it - just look at my crafting stash!
Today I realized the silliness of holding on to this idea. If I look at the $35 in the scheme of things, it really isn’t a big deal (let’s not compare to all the supplements we are currently throwing money at, shall we?) Maybe we will make angels another year. Maybe not. But, I have to stop blaming him for the time I spent running around, gathering materials; it was my choice. And more importantly, I need to have empathy for a trait that I myself have in spades.
My undone projects give me the magic of possibility waiting at my fingertips. I love my yarn stash, my stamps and glitters, my bits and pieces of fabric. Anyway, they will make a lovely home for the angels to play in, now that I have set them free.
